This is very funny and oh so true.
Aging is a funny thing to humans. The fact that our views on aging change throughout our lives is not what makes it unique. (Our views on almost everything we think about will change throughout our lives as we continue to gain more and more perspective and experience to draw on.)
It’s the inescapable nature of the subject that makes it worth looking at and finding humor in. Whether you’re the president of the United States or flipping burgers at White Castle, you have an age, and that number means something to you and the people around you.
Aging is an experience we all share, and that alone makes it noteworthy…
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . .. and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
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3 comments:
Great post and so true!
:)
Rif - interesting post.
I read a tenuously related post soemwhere else the other day:
I was a very different person years ago and my priorities and outlook on life were very different: but decisions I made then are still the basis of many of my present circumstances — my family, the type of work I do, where I live, the state of my health and so on. I’m quite sure that I would have no intention these days of entrusting my future wellbeing into the hands of an inexperienced and irresponsible teenager. Yet even in middle life I’m still living with the fallout from some of the decisions about my life made by just such a teenager — me!
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2007/3/5/time-to-think-again.html
Rif this was so damn funny my gut hurts right now.
By the time I got to "you TURN 4:30" I HAD TEARS MAN!!!!
Very true too, I hated most of my 20's and am glad their over with. But what the hell happened to the early part of my 30's, I'll be 35 may 5th, how did that slip by without me noticing?? Crap can't I just stay 30 forever??
LMAO
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