SO, no SSST test, no RKC snatch test, no maxing out on ANYTHING. No testing anything. to my competitors soul this was the greatest torture, the greatest loss. To not be able to push myself, test myself against other I KNEW I was at least as good as, or better was humbling.
To have to stand back and not show others what I was made of was humiliating. But I had no choice. I knew the consequences of being what I call "greedy" and they were not good. Instead of pushing to the max to see what lie on the other side I always held back because " the next step off a peak is always down".